Oh, how great was the uncle's grief when he learned the truth, and how bitter was the sorrow of the lovers when we were forced to part!
How it happened is not entirely clear, but it's reasonable to assume that Fulbert walked in on his niece and his boarder in an extremely private moment. He had ignored the rumors and believed in their good conduct; perhaps it was a direct confrontation with the truth that so drastically affected him. Now, the extent of his fury at the very least matched the extent of the trust he had placed in them both.
But physically separating the couple did not quench the flame of their love for one another; on the contrary:
- The very sundering of our bodies served but to link our souls closer together; the plentitude of the love which was denied to us inflamed us more than ever.
And not long after they were parted, Heloise got a message to Abelard: she was pregnant. At the next opportunity, when Fulbert was away from home, the couple fled to Abelard's family, where Heloise was to remain until their son was born. Her lover returned to Paris, but fear or awkwardness kept him from attempting to heal the breach with her uncle for several months.
The solution seems simple to us now, and would have been simple to most young couples then: marriage. But, although it was not unknown for scholars at the university to wed, a wife and family could be a serious impediment to an academic career. Universities were relatively new systems that had sprung from Cathedral schools, and the one at Paris was renowned for its theological teachings. The brightest prospects that awaited Abelard resided in the Church; he would be forfeiting the highest possible career by taking a bride.
Though he never admits such thoughts kept him from proposing marriage, that they were included among his considerations seem clear when he describes his offer to Fulbert:
... in order to make amends even beyond his extremest hope, I offered to marry her whom I had seduced, provided only the thing could be kept secret, so that I might suffer no loss of reputation thereby. To this he gladly assented...
But Heloise was another matter.
Love Protests
That a young woman in love should balk at marrying the father of her child may seem perplexing, but Heloise had compelling reasons. She was well aware of the opportunities Abelard would be passing up if he tied himself to a family. She argued for his career; she argued for his studies; she argued that such a measure would not truly appease her uncle. She even argued for honor:
... it would be far sweeter for her to be called my mistress than to be known as my wife; nay, too, that this would be more honourable for me as well. In such case, she said, love alone would hold me to her, and the strength of the marriage chain would not constrain us.
But her lover would not be dissuaded. Shortly after their son Astrolabe was born, they left him in the care of Abelard's family and returned to Paris to be married secretly, with Fulbert among the few witnesses. They parted immediately thereafter, seeing each other only in rare private moments, in order to maintain the fiction that they were no longer involved.
Love Denied
Heloise had been correct when she had argued that her uncle would not be satisfied by a secret marriage. Though he had promised his discretion, his damaged pride would not let him keep quiet about events. The injury had been a public one; its reparation should also be public. He let word of the couple's union get about.
When his niece denied the marriage, he beat her.
To keep Heloise safe, her husband spirited her away to the convent at Argenteuil, where she had been educated as a child. This alone may have been enough to keep her from her uncle's wrath, but Abelard went one step further: he asked that she wear the vestments of the nuns, except for the veil that indicated the taking of vows. This turned out to be a grave error.
When her uncle and his kinsmen heard of this, they were convinced that now I had completely played them false and had rid myself forever of Heloise by forcing her to become a nun.
Fulbert became incensed, and prepared to take his revenge.
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